transition

today's blog title is transition, for more reason than one.

1) i actually want to keep this more of a personal blog, to recount what's going on in my life so i have something to look back at.  i'm nostalgic, and there's something wonderful about reading something that you wrote a few years ago and seeing how you've changed.  so transition to reading all about my life :]

2) the transition to going back to school is going fairly smoothly.  i'm still kind of homesick...

3) matt's going back to school in davis, and transitioning into both of us in school mode is going to be difficult. again.

yep.

but part of today is also just... i kind of feel emotionally drained, and not because of stuff that's happening to me, but to the people around me.

i guess, to be more specific, i've witnessed at least three breakups since arriving at 'sc.  one is twin and her (now ex-)boyfriend tommy, another is someone i was closer to last year and his girlfriend, and the last (and most recent) is erika joy and chris.

i've been "involved" in two, and it makes me really sad to see people break up when they looked so solid.  i know it's something that has to happen, that it can be a good thing, but still... i just feel so horrible.  i've been broken up with/broke up with someone twice in my entire life.  but i've had my heart broken before i even got with anyone, if that makes any sense...  

anyway, the first time a boy broke my heart, i couldn't function.  then, the first time i was broken up with... i didn't eat for three weeks (barely ate) and screwed up my scores on the PSAT, which didn't really mean anything... but still.  and i was only with the guy for like, 2 freakin' months.  the second breakup was slightly complicated, and i don't think i really liked him all that much, so i didn't feel anything but anger >:]

my knowledge of breakups is greatly limited, as you can see.  i can't even imagine how people who've been together for years get through it.  if matt and i ever broke up, i'd be a fckin wreck, more so than i think anyone can imagine.  and putting myself in their shoes is what really makes me sad...

blehhh rambly with no sense. but still.  it makes me really sad and i'm not sure how to feel because it feels like all the love is getting sucked out of the world :/

88, <3, janet anne